Do we Really Have True Control of Our Lives?

Every day we wake up and we go through our lives like it is a movie playing in front of us. Day in and out we are working, eating, drinking, thinking, planning, executing, succeeding and failing. 

The sun rises, the day comes, the sun sets and the day ends. 

We work and work and work more to have some degree of control on our lives. We plan and decide  where our time and efforts go and what we can control and mange in our lives so that things progress in the direction we want them to. Amid all the unpredictability the day might throw at us, we try our best to keep things on track. 

We go on living as if things will happen exactly according to our plan and our laid out steps. As if the world works as per our intentions and wishes. 

We keep forgetting that not everything we do or interact with is in our control. 

 

Two Face – Just Like A Coin Flip

Just like every coin has 2 sides, 2 faces that are on the opposite side of each other, 2 faces that never truly interact with each other but seem to touch each other on the seams.. Right at the boundaries where you can almost see the other side but can’t really flip over it. You are always seeing only one face/ side of the coin. 

Our lives are also governed by 2 sides, one that is because of us and one that happens to us. These two sides, touch each other on the periphery just like the edges of the sides of a coin. These two sides make the whole of what we experience and call life. 

These two sides are 

1. The side that involves everything but us
2. The side that involves us 

 

What We Cannot Control 

There is a side of the coin that we don’t control. That side involves everything apart from us. This includes our pet dog, our parents, the laws, the people, the economy, the global climate situation to the unidentified life on a remote planet of the universe. 

This constitutes about 50% of our world ( I chose 50 because I compared it to the faces of the coin) 

 

What Can We Control 

The other side of the coin is the one we control. The side that involves us. This includes what we do, where we spend our time, who we interact with and what we choose to include in our realm of interest and control. Basically everything where we can take conscious action or have a conscious influence. Be it a tweet or sweeping the floor. 

This constitutes the other 50% of our world. 

 

Each Moment is a  Unique Experience

So there are the two parts. Us and the rest of the universe. The interaction of which creates every moment of our experience. 

The thing that we need to realize is that each and every moment in time is Unique. Literally. There is no way that the exact same moment will ever be back in the world ever again. It is just mathematically/ physically impossible. 

Read the above sentence again. Let it sink in. 

Knowing this is very very powerful. Think about it again. This very  moment that you are reading this article is unique…like it has never ever happened in the history of time, it will never ever happen again ever in time and… time has and will be there for a long long time.

This first hit me when I read something in the papers about a certain number of planets lining up one behind the other. A phenomenon that happens every 100 or so years or something. I was fascinated and felt excited that I will be experiencing this. Then I realized…. It’s not the same…. The last time this happened, I was not there. The last time this happened, we didn’t even have the internet. … my parents were not even alive…. This chain of thought suddenly made me realize…. Oh My God!! Every moment is truly unique! 

To give it one more try so that you realize how crazy this is – 

There can mathematically never ever (I can’t even fathom the probability… it will be so so remote.. it will border on impossibility) of the same moment in time happening again. Every human, animal, grain of sand, EVERYTHING being in the same position for one more instant. Not even considering all the planets, galaxies and star systems. 

A World Out Of Our Hands

With every moment being SO unique, comes the realization that there is so much in our lives that we don’t control. So many things we take for granted and don’t see how random, unique, arbitrary and lucky all the events in our life are. 

We can’t even be sure if there is an asteroid coming our way while we make plans for our future, not sure if countries, economies, companies, laws etc. will stay the same as we keep working to fulfill our goals. There are so many things, so many variables working at the same time, that thinking about it makes one feel like nothing is in their own hands.

Am not trying to paint a morbid picture but am trying to say, a lot of things, a lot of events and a lot of opportunities – we take for granted. We take for granted what little we really have that we can truly control and how important it is to realize that. 

The easiest way I could see how important it is to appreciate what I can control but trying to fathom everything that is beyond my control!

What little we do have in our hands 

What we need to realize is that we have really very little in our control. Very very little with which we can work with.  Very few things that we can actually truly say, are dependent on our behavior, our decision, our actions. Very few things whose outcomes get shaped by us. 

So having realized this, isn’t next logical step is to try and maximize whatever it is that we control. Do our best so that we can exert a 100% of our energy, time, focus, will and intention to these things. Not dissipate the little that we have in our hands towards things that really mean nothing to us.

Some of the things that we control broadly are – 

1. The energy that we have – This is a function of our sleep, diet and exercise routines. 
2. The time that we have – This is a function of planning, prioritizing and executing to the plan
3. The money that we have – The reason I put money is that it enables a lot of the physical/ materialistic / worldly things today and is a key lever that we  can have some degree of control upon.

So in summary, Energy, Time and Money.

Those are the things (50% of the total) upon which we have control. 

You can read more about my deep dive about these three things here (article on EMT – Article 9)

Not Brace but Embrace Yourself 

Knowing what you do, what you think and how you spend your energy, time  and money is all that you have in your control. Knowing that you control only 50% (your side of the coin) of everything to positively influence towards your desired outcome. Then it is only logical to maximize that side to its fullest potential. 

So even if the events in the world are stacked against you, doing your best, being your 109% still gives you a 50% chance of getting what you want. I know this sounds bad and depressing, but it’s not. 

I think is not bad. At Least it’s fair odds and not unfair. It’s At Least 50-50. But yes it’s sucks that in order for it to be 50-50, you have to be 100%. Well that’s what we are striving for aren’t we. That’s what successful people are a 100% true to their roles! (INSERT LINK TO KNOW YOUR ROLE – Article 8 )

On the other hand, Not doing your best will seriously reduce your chances because you are now dependent on the other 50% (not in your control) side of things to work in your favor. Literally leaving your success to the wind. 

I go in depth about how this 50-50 mentality has helped me change my view on some of the day day to things in my life. (Article on 50-50 – Article 10 ) 

But this piece  was to make you understand that not everything is in your hands, don’t feel bad if things don’t go your way and that there is hope in you being 100% of who you want to be!